Why “Love is a Feeling” Fails and Love as an Action Wins
In a world filled with romantic comedies and love songs, it’s easy to believe that love is simply a feeling—a magical, spontaneous emotion that sweeps us off our feet. But what if this notion of love is not only incomplete but also detrimental to our relationships and personal growth? What if true love is not a feeling but an action—an ongoing commitment to nurturing one’s own and another’s spiritual growth?
As Jean Watson, creator of the Theory of Human Caring, emphasizes, caring (which is closely related to love) is not merely an emotion but is demonstrated through intentional actions and ongoing commitment to another’s well-being. Her Ten Caritas Processes® include cultivating loving-kindness, developing trust, and sustaining humanistic-altruistic values through concrete behaviors and ongoing presence. This perspective strongly aligns with the thesis that love is enacted through actions and continuous commitment rather than transient feelings.
Similarly, Lisa Feldman Barrett, a professor of psychology and neuroscientist, critiques the traditional view that emotions are fixed feelings. In her work, she explains that emotions (including love) are constructed from our experiences, beliefs, and actions, rather than being innate or purely affective states. This supports the idea that love is not just a feeling but is shaped by ongoing actions, choices, and commitments.
So, how can we shift our understanding of love from a feeling to an action? Here are two key areas to focus on:
7 Proven Ways to Practice Love as an Action Every Day
1. Express gratitude: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate your partner’s efforts and qualities.
2. Engage in active listening: Give your full attention and seek to understand their perspective.
3. Perform acts of service: Do something thoughtful to lighten their load or brighten their day.
4. Show physical affection: Offer a hug, hold hands, or give a gentle touch to convey care.
5. Spend quality time together: Prioritize undistracted, meaningful connection and shared experiences.
6. Use words of affirmation: Offer genuine compliments and express your love and respect verbally.
7. Offer forgiveness: Choose to let go of resentment and work through conflicts with compassion.
By consistently practicing these actions, we cultivate a love that is not dependent on fleeting emotions but is rooted in ongoing commitment and care.
How to Nurture Spiritual Growth in Relationships: 5 Essential Steps
1. Encourage self-reflection: Support each other in exploring your beliefs, values, and purpose.
2. Foster open communication: Create a safe space to share vulnerabilities, dreams, and fears.
3. Practice compassion: Approach each other’s struggles with empathy and understanding.
4. Cultivate a growth mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities for learning and development.
5. Engage in shared spiritual practices: Find meaningful rituals or activities that connect you to something greater.
By actively nurturing each other’s spiritual growth, we build a love that goes beyond surface-level feelings and taps into a deeper sense of meaning and connection.
Real-world examples further illustrate the power of love as an action. The Friendship Bench provides support and resources to parents who are grieving the loss of a child to suicide, emphasizing ongoing, compassionate support from friends and family—showing love through action, presence, and empathy rather than just words or feelings. This approach has helped parents find hope and community during an unimaginably difficult time, demonstrating that active, ongoing care can foster healing and spiritual growth.
Similarly, Paulo Freire’s “Pedagogy of the Oppressed” advocates for education as a dialogic, participatory process, where teachers actively nurture students’ intellectual and spiritual growth through ongoing dialogue, respect, and empowerment. This approach has led to the empowerment of oppressed communities, fostering critical thinking, self-worth, and collective action—clear evidence that love, as an actionable and sustained commitment, can transform lives and societies.
As our core philosophy at SuccessQuest777 states, “Success is not what you know—it’s who you become.” By embracing love as an action rather than a feeling, we become people who are capable of building deeper, more meaningful relationships and fostering genuine growth in ourselves and others. We move beyond the fleeting highs and lows of emotional love and tap into a love that is steady, purposeful, and transformative.
So, let us challenge the notion that love is merely a feeling. Let us commit to practicing love as an ongoing action—through intentional behaviors, nurturing spiritual growth, and showing up consistently for ourselves and those we care about. In doing so, we open the door to a more profound, enduring love that has the power to shape who we become and the impact we have on the world around us.
📌 Key Takeaways
> True love is not merely a feeling but an ongoing action demonstrated through intentional behaviors and continuous commitment.
> Practicing love daily involves expressing gratitude, active listening, acts of service, physical affection, quality time, words of affirmation, and forgiveness.
> Nurturing spiritual growth in relationships through self-reflection, open communication, compassion, a growth mindset, and shared practices deepens connection and meaning.
> Love as an actionable commitment fosters healing, empowerment, and transformation in individuals and communities beyond transient emotions.